How to Toilet Train a Toddler

Toilet training – that joyous period when you’re trying to teach your little one to use the big toilet. It is one of those things you know you need to teach your children, but when the time comes around to do it you’re usually hunting for reasons to put it off. Toilet training can be messy; it can be frustrating; it can even be infuriating. But teaching your child how to use the toilet can be accomplished when you follow these few handy tips.

Every so often, you’ll hear a parent share that they breezed through potty training in a matter of days. Is it because they did something extraordinary with their training technique? Most likely, no. It’s probably more a case that every child is different, and what comes easily to some can be a challenge to others.

The reality is that for most toddlers, learning to use the big kid’s toilet takes time, effort and patience. When you’re in the throes of it, you can sometimes feel that your child is never going to get it, but we promise you they will. We hope these tips can help approach toilet training logically and perhaps make this period of development easier.

When to start

Most toddlers are generally ready to start toilet training from around the age of two/three. Some children, however, are early starters and will show signs of readiness from as early as 18 months.

Choosing when to start should come down to each individual child, and just because your friend has started training their child doesn’t mean that yours is ready. Remember, toilet training is not a competitive sport and readiness is key in its success. Start too early and you’re in for a long road.

There are certain signs that will help you to determine whether or not your child is ready to start potty training. These include:

• Their nappies are dry during the day
• They tell you when they need to do a wee or poo
• They tell you when they have done a wee or poo
• They try to take off wet or soiled nappies or show signs of discomfort
• They produce soft and “properly formed” poo
• They are curious about the toilet
• They like to watch you go to the toilet
• They can follow simple instructions
• They can pull their pants up and down independently

Most parents are ready to start potty training when they give themselves time. You could have the most ready little boy or girl just itching to use the big toilet, but if you don’t have time to show them how to do it properly then, again, potty training will be a long process.

When starting potty or toilet training, it’s essential that you create time for consistency. This may mean using some holiday time from work, not making plans with friends for a few weeks, or organising a carer or babysitter to help you out. Unfortunately, many parents choose to potty train their child around the same time that a new addition arrives, and if you’re busy with a newborn then finding time to potty train a sibling can be tough.

Another factor you may like to consider is the time of year. Children benefit from as much “nappy-free” time as possible when learning to go to the toilet, as this helps in the connection of toileting sensations. Choosing to train your child in spring or summer will allow your child to have some nudey-rudey fun time.

Potty vs toilet

Having decided that both you and your child are ready for training, you’re now faced with the decision of using a potty or toilet as the base of your training. Issues to consider include:

• Some children find the toilet intimidating and may be more open to using a stand-alone potty
• A potty can be used in any room in the house, and can be taken on car trips
• Using a potty exclusively may mean your child is afraid to use the toilet when they are out
• A toilet will require a step and a smaller seat that fits securely inside of it
• A toilet can be exciting for toddlers who look up to older siblings

Basically, there are pros and cons to both the potty and the toilet. As a result, a combination of the two is thought to be the best solution.

Preparing for potty training

Before you start toilet training, begin talking to your child about the toilet. Let them follow you when you’re going, and talk to them about what you are doing.

Choose the toileting words you are going to use. Common examples include “wee”, “pee”, “wee wee”, “poop”, “poo” and “potty”. Establish a routine, such as having them sit on the potty after a sleep or nap, sitting on the potty 45 minutes after drinking lots of fluid, or sitting on the potty 20 minutes after a meal. To start with you can have them do this fully clothed if they are uncomfortable, and once used to the routine then try bare bum.

Only put your child on the potty for a few minutes a couple of times a day in the beginning, and never force them to go if they are distressed, as this could result in negative associations in their mind.

Toilet training tips:

1. Remove a bowel movement from your child’s nappy and get your child to watch as you put it in the toilet. Explain to them that poo goes in the toilet, not in their nappy.
2. Choose a wardrobe that’s appropriate for toilet training. This means clothing that’s easy to pull up and down, and loose clothing that will allow your child to feel when they are going to the toilet.
3. Consider offering small rewards such as a sticker, extra reading time with Mummy, or a reward chart.
4. Let your child pick out their own “big-kids” underwear.
5. Make sure that all caregivers follow the same instructions and that they are on the same page, as different instructions will only confuse your child.
6. Praise, praise and praise some more. Your energy should only be focused on praise and not on the shaming of accidents.
7. Offer reassurance instead of anger. If an accident happens (which it will do), remind yourself that this is normal and not a sign of bad behaviour. Explain to your child that potty training takes time and that you are there to support them.
8. Offer gentle reminders throughout the day.
9. Never leave your toddler sitting on the potty or toilet for long periods of time.
10. Teach them to wash their hands every time they use the toilet. It may help if you let them choose a special soap just for these occasions.
11. Make toileting fun. Learn a new song you can sing, or have some books and toys next to the potty.
12. Make sure your toddler is secure with their daytime toileting habits before considering nighttime toilet training.

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